Appendix, tonsils, you wouldn't want them ripped out unnecessarily however should they become malignant we do so, quickly. They are a part of a system, a group of organs, a bundle of tissues, a sheet of cells, cells with individual functions, characteristics, need for resources, reproduction and maladies. Should they prove to be malignant to their host or supporting systems however they are cast aside, perhaps not easily. But we do after all lose our colons, one or both kidneys as well, and we adapt to live without them. Hearts are becoming replaceable, also not easily, but the possibility is there. What is this to you, you ask?

We are the governors of the systems we attend to within our own bodies. We are the president, the king, the supreme monarch of the universe of I. We neither have ultimate control nor do we have a loss of control. We can't help if we have a few cells go rogue. If they go cancerous and spread bad information to other cells and reproduce. We are left doing what clean up work we can to diagnose and treat the disturbance. We can control our exposure to sunlight and the cancerous cells that might be formed through intense radiation or exposure to known harmful circumstances. Sunblock or tan? We do have some options here. We can only do so much to protect ourselves from the hazards around us and those hazards that I am addressing relate only to our governance of our own bodies.

Society is another system though, do we fulfill our functions within our social construct? Do we give more than we receive in terms of positive influence and support? Do we spread negativity and the seeds of malignancy? Individually speaking are we a healthy productive cell, or a cancer? Our awareness is both a blessing and a curse. We're prone to self-defeatist guilt and blame because it is much easier than a subject for our negativity be it through hate or depression. Than it is to find acceptance of our circumstances, responsibility and the determination to change, to adapt. Due to reflection we can change our view to find positive ways to change our social construct both with others and with our own bodies should we choose to do so. Shouldn't we at least aim to find the best "me" that we can be?

To be in a system is to cause to stand in a position to gain or lose because of an action taken or a commitment made to a regularly acting or interdependent group of items which form a unified whole.

On regrets and learning. Who are we?

Who are we? Are we our relations? Most likely we are not. We seldom feel that we can be ourselves with the ones who raised us. We feel the need to play a role in most instances. We are the rebellious child, the cherub, the hero or the accused. We do what we must for demonstrated affection, attention in any combination.

I have made mistakes in my life. I had wished to take back poor choices and actions. I had not only wished to take back the bad choices on my part, but also those of the people around me. It has taken awhile and yet I still have to remind myself to steer the course. I have forgiven. Not only have I forgiven, but I have also taken it into my heart to be thankful of those lessons and the resulting pain and turmoil that those lessons have offered me. There is little time in the present for regret and buried pain of the past.

These lessons have forced me to mold and shape myself. I am a result of my environment and my reactions to my environment. We all are. It is difficult and painful to hurt someone, even unintentionally. We carry with us the burden of doing so and we feel shame or victimized. This shame is often resentment of ourselves and buried rearing its head in our deepest and darkest moments. We have to remember that at some point we have learned from this lesson, positively. There is some light waiting to be discovered in those memories, if not for us than for someone else who was impacted. We have only to have faith in it. Or, if that is too passive, perhaps we should seek it.

Without these experiences, I would have had to wait to grow. The pain was meant to happen. Something had to catch my attention in such a way to make an impact on me long enough for me to reflect and not just respond. Without reflection, these experiences just ricochet within my psyche until the impact has been absorbed. It had to make sense. Logically, what could this mean? How can I learn from this, positively? A negative impact is far too easy and a waste of time to contemplate.

If we find ourselves in a situation far too often we should take the time to reexamine why this is so. We should not blame those around us for our situation we should try to find the strength to trust ourselves to change it. A poor family life is no excuse if we look for a mate who will force us to follow a similar pattern. Are we still trying to fill the role of the dutiful child or the rebellious one? Are we still playing the role of the victim or the accused? If we’re unhappy with our situation perhaps we should try to allow ourselves the role we would wish for ourselves, instead of the one we think we’ve been allotted?

In planning, in practice

We are here to overcome our obstacles, learn from them, share them for others to learn from our experiences (not to dwell on them in a negative fashion!) and move on. There's time for reflection, but the view is always better looking forward.

Who we are, where we are and how we got here are a result of the experiences we have to experience in order to learn how to improve ourselves while we inhabit this world. We have patterns of thinking that we need to re-examine not only so we can identify malicious ways of thinking but so that we can learn from the choices we make and by doing so strengthen our weaknesses so that we can move on to our next lesson. Our search for ourselves begins with the true acceptance of our faults and our patterns and in doing so, we can find forgiveness.

Our pride shouldn't keep up from sharing the experience with others. If we let our pride keep us from sharing our lessons we cannot contribute to those around us. In sharing the process we are opening ourselves up to further insight for everyone involved. We have people around us who accept us for who we are should we choose to acknowledge them. We're afraid to be ourselves for fear of losing the acceptance that we have, however tenuous.